Motivating a Young Pianist – A Quick Guide for Parents

Motivating a Young Pianist – A Quick Guide for Parents

Most students probably only see their teachers once a week. While certainly an empathetic teacher could do wonders to motivate a young learner, daily support from parents is far more crucial to ensure consistent progress and maintain motivation level.

This guide is written mainly for parents of young children. I’ve included important pointers parents would do well to know to support their children emotionally and psychologically as they began embarking on a long and arduous journey to become a competent pianist.

1.  Learning piano is hard and seldom fun.

The first thing I always tell parents who are starting their children with me is that learning piano is not a bed of roses. Motivation and interest in the instrument need to be gradually and constantly nurtured. True, there might be minority few who would be naturally intrinsically motivated because they genuinely love music, or they simply enjoy the challenge of learning an instrument. But most young learners would need constant encouragement and support from their parents to persevere through the difficult stages.

There are of course fun and rewarding moments in learning piano, but majority of time would be spent practicing. Ask any pianist and they would most likely confess that practicing was often tedious and dry affairs. There would also be times where they would feel that they were not making good progress or playing well despite putting in sufficient effort.

So when your child seemed to lose interest, do understand this might not necessarily mean they dislike the instrument. When this happened, empathise with your child; tell them that it is normal to feel dejected when things are not going well. Probe your child and their teacher further to see if lessons could be adjusted or further intervention was necessary. Don’t give up on lessons too quickly; many adults told me they were grateful to their parents who insisted they continued lessons despite wanting to stop.

2.     It’s okay to be average.

With advent of social media, parents have also become much more conscious of how their children are performing compared to their peers. The constant sharing of seemingly extraordinary achievements of precocious children have also contributed to increasingly higher and often unrealistic learning expectations.

So, your child had never got a distinction for their exams, or they progressed at leisurely one grade per year. And really, there’s nothing wrong with this. It is very much possible for someone to genuinely love piano but is just a perfectly average player. I must confess that as a teacher, I used to struggle with the notion that a few of my students remained average despite my best effort to teach them, but I reminded myself the main objective of learning piano was not just mere acquisition of technical competencies. Instead, the main goal should always be to cultivate a life-long love for the instrument. As a teacher, I always bear that in mind and not give up on a student too quickly just because they do not measure up to my expectations.

Remember, as I mentioned earlier, learning piano is hard and to become even an average pianist significant amount of time and effort need to be invested. There is nothing more demoralizing than a less understanding parent who is never satisfied with anything you had accomplished. When your child did not progress or perform to your expectations, if they genuinely had tried their best, still congratulate and be proud of what they had accomplished. If you felt they could have done better with more effort or discipline, instead of chiding them, encourage them to improve. If they had reached the ceiling of what they could accomplish at the time being, accept that even if that was not what you expected.

3.     Show that you care; you are your child’s first and number one fan.

I’ve encountered parents who were completely nonchalant. They were totally oblivious to their children’s learning and progress, only occasionally checking if their children were going to take any exams. In contrast, I had students whose parents were very proactive in assisting their children. They even dutifully supervised their children’s daily practices. I am not asking all parents to do this, but really, even showing a passing interest in what your child was learning, or practicing could go a long way.

You could for example ask your child to perform a piece they were learning to you after their practice. Reward your child for completing goals such as finishing a piece or performing a piece in a concert. Ask your child to perform at family gatherings. Record and share your child’s performances. These simple acts do not take a lot of your time, but they would mean a lot for your child. And when they were older, they would appreciate all the happy memories you gave them.